It is also important however, to understand that dating after a divorce is unique and multifaceted.In many cases, divorced women who are starting to date experience two processes simultaneously – on the one hand, they may still be recovering from an ended marriage (this can a long time, and is natural,) while on the other hand, they are ready to move forward, date and embrace their new singleness.In addition to taking care of your health by eating well, exercising, and sleeping sufficiently for example, taking care of our physical presentation is especially important during the dating process.If need be, upgrade your wardrobe with key items that are flattering to your body type, and have a few outfits on-hand for date nights, ones that you feel great in!Kylie & Jonathan, founders of KYJO, a Toronto-based style and image boutique, say that there is actually very compelling research to support the ‘look good/feel good’ claim.“Various studies have shown that wearing clothing that fits you properly and makes you look great will give you a positive psychological boost.Finding yourself single and dating again after a divorce will require you getting used to your “new reality.” You are older, your body may be a little (or a lot) different than it was the last time you were dating, you may have “baggage” (exes, children, etc.) – and so will the men you will be dating!
As a result, I often I hear divorced women say things such as, “I hate dating,” and “there are no good men left.” This view point will negatively impact, if not sabotage, any effort to find new love. If you’re feeling stuck in negative emotions such as anger and resentment, my suggestion is that you first commit to the on-going work of developing a more positive and open mindset, what world-renowned Stanford University psychologist and author Carol Dweck describes as a “growth mindset.” Simply put, a growth mindset is the willingness to embrace our challenges as opportunities for change and growth.
The most important thing is getting started, and here are my top five tips to help you date successfully.
First and foremost, I can’t say enough about the importance of maintaining (or developing) a positive “dating mindset.” This can be challenging for many women since the divorce process can be extremely difficult, often dragging on, taking a toll on every area of life – emotionally, financially, and physically.
And so, should you find yourself dating after divorce, it is important that you be patient with yourself.
Depending on the nature of your divorce, and how much time has gone by, you may be more or less open to actively looking for love.