“That’s how you get herpes,” I scolded him, with more judgment than I’d like to admit.
“You need to be more careful.” Years later we bumped into each other on Metro North and I apologized for being such a bitch.
Informed consent is not only important, it’s crucial.
However, adults are not being reckless if they make these decisions together. I don’t want to say that sex with condoms sucks, because condoms are useful and important.
At the time I was on a daily course of Valtrex, also known as suppressive therapy, to lessen the risk of transmission.I told him about my diagnosis and we laughed hard at the weird irony of it.But he said I’d been right, even if teenage Ella was super harsh—he’d later had an HIV scare and had been vigilant ever since. A journalist wrote a piece about me (and my genital herpes) for a very prominent, respected publication in the United Kingdom, and she included a line about how I’ve never had sex without a condom. I sucked it up and sent the author a short note, she made a quick correction, and no one was the wiser.It was a reasonable assumption; in my essay for , I discussed how shocked I was to get diagnosed with herpes when I had never had “unprotected” sex in my life. But the exchange stuck with me, if for no other reason than for how self-conscious it made me feel. When I got diagnosed with herpes and for quite some time after, having sex without a condom was unthinkable.