’ Bloody good to be honest – oops, ignore me, just thinking aloud.I started chatting to a ‘millionaire’ and within three email exchanges he was talking about what a strong connection he felt we had, and how he couldn’t wait to ‘make love to me’ (eurgghh). With a decent fake tan and a push-up bra, I’d wager you could bag yourself a holiday in Barbados every couple of months to boot.The approach is, undeniably, direct – with a form in the profile section detailing your desired arrangement and expectation, ranging from moderate to substantial and high. Within 10 minutes of being live I had an inbox full of emails from men detailing what they’d require from me and asking what I’d expect in exchange.‘I’d like to book you next Thursday.’ ‘My last arrangement included £250 a week, £1,000 per month long term – how does that sound?
John said: ‘A true SD offers cash but also mentorship, and a SB offers fun inside the bedroom and companionship outside of it.
I wasn’t quite sure if this was a post-modern comment on the randomness of online dating or if he was a victim of early onset dementia. Meanwhile their profiles demanded ‘you will be slim, attractive and available for lunchtime meet-ups’.
Messages from anonymous (aka married) members saying ‘I like going out and staying in, weekends away and holidays in the sun’ were as creative as they came.
Most looked more like welders from Clacton-on-Sea than hedge fund managers from Knightsbridge.
I was asked, within three message exchanges, by a man from Solihull, my thoughts on anal sex (dinner first, at least please) and invited out for lunch by an elderly gentleman who lived in Yorkshire who then sent me a picture of himself holding a fish with a message ‘joking’ about how tight Yorkshire men were with money.